Have you ever been hurt by someones words or actions? Have you felt betrayed, dismissed or offended? I have. It hurts!
Depending on who the person is in my life, a close relationship, a family member or otherwise affects how deep the hurt feels. There are also those times that someone not so close to me has hurt me by their words or actions, but the hurt is not nearly as deep or long-lasting.
I believe most people are good at their core. I believe that life circumstances and being treated badly by others can cause a good person to behave in ways that are not so good and not becoming of who they are. Anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt feelings can cause many of us to put up walls in receiving love from others and being kind to others. Sometimes people choose to NOT use the tools offered or made available to them which are necessary to heal.
We each have a choice to be bitter and cynical and to withhold love from those around us. We also have a choice to heal from our past, including all the pain from relationships (even back to our childhood) and become a person who forgives, lets go of negativity and doesn’t hold grudges. I think that if we do not heal from our past, we will act out in ways towards others that are not being our best self.
Sometimes people are in such pain over their past, whether things that were said and done to them or things they said and did that they feel guilt and shame over, that they stay stuck in a place of anger, fear and bitterness. The anger and bitterness are over the loss of what they wanted and didn’t get or wished they had done or been (being a better person) and didn’t do. The fear is usually about fearing rejection from others because they faced that before and it hurt.
Everyone feels rejected when someone stops loving you and is no longer interested in you being in their life. But rejection does not mean you are worthless! Fear prevents people from accepting love and experiencing good things and perhaps even of loving their own self because they have not accepted the goodness within.
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust, (Matthew 5:45).
Notice in Matthew 5, Jesus said, “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you.” Love, bless, do good – not just for your friends, but for your enemies as well. That is God’s way, and when we follow it, we show ourselves to be sons of the Father.
“Sons” (and daughters) speaks of maturity, and our love and kindness toward our enemies demonstrates that we are indeed part of the family of God – we’re living up to the family name.
There are battles and negative circumstances which God’s people must face, even as the unjust do. But they do not come from God. God gives only good gifts (James 1:17) tells us: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
God’s purpose is for us to be a means of blessing. When He blesses us, it is not only for ourselves, but for all those around us as well. In that way, even our very presence becomes a blessing to others, for God will always watch out for us and take care of us. He blesses with such abundance that we cannot help but share with others.
We are called to partner with God in blessings. We are to demonstrate our love, even to our enemies, to bless even those who curse us, to do good deeds for them, even for those who hate us. That’s what it means to be “grown up” in the Lord, and everyone will see who our Father is in us.
The most important thing I have learned through the many times I have been betrayed and hurt is that I have the choice to not let other people’s hurtful words or actions make me bitter. I also believe that love begets love.
Even if the person that has hurt me never apologizes and/or comes back into my life, I have the option to love them, pray for them and wish them good in their lives, (including healing they may need).
~ Mary Lindow ©
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|Mary Lindow has a passion for encouraging others in all generations and careers or vocations to live and express excellence through personal integrity, healthy accountability, and wise management of talents and skills. She is a sought after keynote inspirational and humorous speaker and teacher throughout the United States internationally in Ministers conferences, International Spiritual leaders Conferences, and in National and International training seminars for various organizations.|