I found out today, someone close to me took me off their Facebook friends list without any explanation.
I am momentarily stunned and hurt, but I should know better. It’s not that they have some sudden revelation about me, or disapprove of the way I live my life, or that they even resent what I write, or the things I share.
It’s that I have something that they do not have.
I am still amazed at myself, that even at my age, I can be somewhat naive. It seems when you forgive someone who has harmed you in the past, you put it behind you and do your best not to think about it anymore.
And you forget that those people may not have changed at all, and could do the same thing to you again if they get the chance.
You can be blind-sided by these people if you’re not careful, because you changed and they didn’t.
It appears that while you were digging in your spirit and doing your best to admit your mistakes and make amends and seeking to draw closer to God, they have hung on to their shortcomings, never admitted them to anyone and never intended to change. You let your guard down.
When these people profess to be born-again Christians and are active faithfully to their church, it can rock you if you let it.
There was a time some years ago that I felt a hunger and desire to return to the Church. I had gone through the pits of hell in my life and I longed desperately to be in God’s house again and I missed working in the church so much…. it had been my whole life.
I began cleaning up my act, went back to church and prayed through and set about to find and know God in a way I never had known before.
I sought Him day and night….. and I found Him.
He opened up His Word to me and poured fresh anointing upon my spirit and He and I shared marvelous things in the Spirit.
One would have thought that everyone would have been thrilled. To see someone turn their life around and begin growing in the LORD is a wonderful thing to observe. Right?
Not to some folk. Church folk. I learned that some close to me were undercutting what I was trying to do and it seemed they actually became more distant than when I lived in the dirt.
I was trying so hard to get better and get up and they would drive by my house and never stop to say one encouraging word. They never called and they never even wanted to sing with me. I was perplexed. It just didn’t make sense.
When someone is doing everything they can to turn their life around and they are seeking God with all their heart and church folk cannot say even one encouraging word to them, there is a serious problem.
That’s cruel, terribly cruel. And there is only one thing that cruel and that is Jealousy.
I will never understand — it’s not in me to understand — why people who have so much can be jealous of another person who has so little.
I came here to Facebook admitting that I am nothing, that I am only here by the grace of God and that I have a long way to go to be like the LORD.
Everything I ever had was taken from me or I threw it away in my despair so I have nothing to boast about and have been very upfront that any strength I have at all is only because of God.
If I write a note, sing a song or post a comment, it is only because He absolutely gave me the energy and heart to do it.
Why in the world would anyone be jealous of me? Because they always have been.
This Note is for all of you out there who have suffered from someone else’s jealousy and their cruelty.
And particularly, from people in the church who claim so much, even if if be your own kin.
The problem is, that you have something those people do not have, and I’m here to tell you, they never will.
As I write this, I feel pity for those people. The sad thing is, they will never achieve the goals they so wish for and they will never be great or accomplish great deeds in their personal life or in their church life.
The spirit they posses destroys their chances of having what they really need and keeps them striking out at the person who has what they will never obtain.
“Jealousy is as cruel as the grave.” No terminology could better express what someone is like who is jealous of you or what length they will go to nullify and demean what you’re trying to do.
Some of us have had to deal with these mean-spirited, life-choking people all our lives, even in the Church.
If God has given you certain gifts and talents, you are going to pay a dear price for that. If I am honest, this mess is one of the reasons I left the church and never wanted to return. I was sick of it.
From the first time I sang in church at six years old, some people were unkind and nasty to me and I cried many times through the years, because I knew I had never done anything wrong to those people and I could think of no reason why they should act in such a way.
It wasn’t like God, it certainly wasn’t like Jesus Christ and heaven forbid, it certainly wasn’t like the Holy Ghost.
If you’re Anointed of God, you’re going to suffer.
People would buy the anointing of the Holy Spirit if it could be purchased.
I read today in the Book where a man offered money to the Apostles, if they could give him the ability to lay hands on people and they would receive the Holy Ghost.
Those people are among us, they always have been. People who are jealous of you would kill you if they could.
Since they cannot get away with taking your life, they will seek to destroy you through subtle disdain, underhanded sneakary, stressing your weaknesses, demeaning you or even oppressing you in the spirit.
They will leave you alone when you’re hurting, be nice to you and then just drop you for no reason, or simply ignore you all together. Do they hate you? That is very well possible.
Listen. God will heal you . If you have no one else to help you at the moment with your daily journey to be more like Him, He will send Angels to minister to you.
He will not leave you by yourself forever. There’s a lot of hurting people who need someone like you.
Those who have oppressed you will fall by the wayside. God will handle them, that much is certain and if He truly has a work for you to do, they cannot stop you.
They will reap dearly if they try. If you stay humble before the LORD and keep reaching for Him, keep trying to have the right Spirit in spite of the ugliness of others, God will sustain you and lift you up each time they beat you down.
You keep growing. You will leave those people far behind. In fact, you already did, a long time ago.
First published November 9, 2011.
~ Robert Blackburn