Self Pity and the Martyr Personality



The enemy wants your attention above all else.  He doesn’t want you to focus on establishing the Kingdom of God in the earth!  He uses self pity in people who will let him use them to distract you from your calling.  There are many distractions that he brings in our life, but self pity is what I call a “Christian distraction.”  People who have the gift of mercy, will be taken in this many times, thinking that it is the “Christian thing to do!” when all along it is to get you focused on them again, and not the people who really need the ministry in you!  Their self pity has a root of Jealousy about you and wants “Special Attention”


We must be moved by the Spirit of God and not our emotions at times.  When you do not give this spirit the attention that it wants, the person will finally begin to blame you for all of their issues, because it was tied up in you and not God.  So you become the very source of their emotional happiness.  They will also begin to cause you to feel unspiritual because you are not a caring enough person to meet their every need and fix all of their problems..  Guilt begins to motivate at this point.  This is a form of manipulation and many times these people that are used by this spirit have been spoiled as children and have gotten their way with their parents.


This self pity, rules in whole families and is often a tool of the Jezebel spirit.  If you are led by obligation and not the spirit, you will fall for this and go down a bunny trail that you do not want to go on.  Believe me, I have learned this.

Many years ago the Lord spoke this scripture to me Romans 13:8,  “Owe no man anything, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.”   He said that this meant that I was to be moved by the motivation of Love and by his Spirit and not obligation!

He said if you ever feel obligated, that it is not His Spirit.  He said that He was moved with compassion not obligation.  The spirit of self pity will get more Christians moving in obligation, than about any other spirit that there is.  Why?  Because we think we are doing something for God.  It is time to be moved by the Spirit of God.


How do I know when it is another spirit that is moving me?  Well, there will be a grieving and also an agitation that comes, when you are out of sync and timing with the Spirit of the Lord.  Look at these scriptures in Acts 16:16-18

“And it came to pass, as we went to prayer, a certain damsel possessed with a spirit of divination met us, which brought her masters much gain by soothsaying:
The same followed Paul and us, and cried, saying, These men are the servants of the most high God, which shew unto us the way of salvation.
And this did she many days. But Paul, BEING GRIEVED, turned and said to the spirit, I command thee in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.  And he came out the same hour.”

You see, this woman was saying all of the right things but it was the wrong spirit but the discernment came only after Paul was grieved.  Many times these spirits use people to make us think that “We Are The Only One That Can Help Them,” playing on our Martyr personality which is truly a stronghold.

This stronghold has built many a church!  These two Spirits “self pity, and the martyr spirit will find each other every time and truly what they are doing is keeping both of the people involved, away from doing what God truly called them to do!  Many people have spent days and even years thinking that they were doing God’s work and all the time playing into the great distractor.

Another way of knowing if this spirit is at work, is if you have ministered and ministered to them and you never see a change and you are totally drained.

I could give you many examples of this, but I think I have said enough for digestion.  I just so want to see God’s people set free of dead works that are distracting them from their true callings.

You have greatness in you but the Lord wants you free to obey Him in this season!  This article is not to condemn people but to bring an awareness of what some operate in.

These people need delivered to do all that God has truly called them to do!  Let’s begin to discern these things and not be distracted for long periods of time by them.  Let’s pray for them, God will take care of them too and He is their Savior not you!

Oh, I know, I didn’t want to hear this many years ago either, but I wish someone had told me!


~ by Jo Ellen Stevens
Arise Shine!

Jo Ellen Stevens imageJo Ellen Stevens of TCIC Ministries is a Prophetic speaker, author, worshiper and intercessor. She has ministered with her husband for 23 years and was a worship leader at the Assembly of God for many years. She is an ordained minister (Restoration Ministries) and works with Restoration Ministries in their Ministry Rooms doing prophetic worship with her husband. She has taught many bible studies and have led many intercessory prayer groups.


Self Pity and the Martyr Personality — 1 Comment

  1. “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you cross land and sea to make one convert, and then you turn that person into twice the child of hell you yourselves are!

    “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things. (‭Matthew‬ ‭23‬:‭15, 23‬ NLT)

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