Women, find the Balance!


This may be long, but I’m in one of those anointing this week, to observe, seek and help.

I’ve been talking to God and also conducting interviews and talking to different ones about some important things I will share this week.  I pray they help you!

One of the greatest injustices anybody in leadership can do, is preach a public message, but yet living a life of private failure.  

It’s so easy to create a public image of having it all together, of things being so intact, when in reality our private lives is in shambles and disarray.  That’s why I try to be transparent concerning the things I have been through, and yet even to this day, I’m learning correcting and bringing things to order.

One thing I love, is talking to men of God.  I gleam so much from them that helps me to help women.  Sitting talking to them gives me a lot of insight concerning the issues they face about women, and it also teaches me how to deal with men and the issues they deal with.

One issue that I find them dealing heavily with, is women in ministry; those with the inability to balance their duties in ministry and their duties in the home.

I hear from so many men who love their wives, but they are discouraged concerning them.

No women, it doesn’t matter how anointed you are, if God has given you a family, they are important too, because marriage and family means much to the Father.

Many of the men are feeling neglected and lonely, because women are so consumed with ministry, until they don’t have time to minister to their husband or children.

There are so many men feeling like they are not a man in their own house, because now they find themselves doing all the duties of marriage, while their wives are caught up in ministry.

Balance is important.  Knowing how to achieve that balance comes with listening to God, but also with listening to the wisdom of those women who have been there and can tell you not how to go there yourself.

Today, the women don’t want to hear how to maintain their homes.  All they want to hear is how anointed they are, how much God wants to use them, how gifted they are.  They are looking for platforms, not husbands, and many only marry for financial support from the man, to help finance them in ministry, or they marry because of the influence the man has in getting doors open for them through their connections.

They secretly look for opportunity and don’t truly desire love and commitment.  It’s disheartening to me to see so many women losing out on marital happiness and the joy of love, because they are so ministry hungry, until they will do anything for a spotlight.

We are always talking about the men using women, but there is a growing problem now were women are using the men.  They are now acting and producing the same attributes that they say they dislike and was being hurt with by men.  They have become the product of everything they have complained about.  They have become just what they say has wounded them.

It’s amazing to hear women being so cutthroat and cold in ministry.  The magnitude of the acts of deception and competition that now drives them is staggering.  I have not seen this magnitude of hatred and jealousy, sabotage and gossip, among women as I see in this hour.

What happened to us as women, that we now backstab and seek to destroy each other?

I remember when a woman stood as a true and loyal friend, protecting and providing wisdom, advice and love to each other, helping each other to achieve their goals, and building and encouraging each other having each other back.

As I sit and think about it, as we began to enter into more prevalence in the arena of ministry, we changed and begin to fight each other.  Truly, nobody is greater than another, if we learn how to work together.

Yes, God will provide a leader among us, but that is His choice.  Those who really are called to lead, would rather not because they know the responsibility and battles they have to face.

Being in ministry and having the ability to yet maintain yourself as a wife and mother, requires commitment, wisdom and the ability to discern.  Nobody should have to tell you that you are spending too much time away from your family.

I know several of you will say, “I have to obey God,” and you do, but this I know about God, He will never put you in a position to say you’re leaving your husband, when He has joined you together.

Remember, He created marriage and patterned it after His love for you.  He would never jeopardize what He holds so dear and will always hold marriage in a high esteem.  We walk away, neglect and blame our husbands for holding us back, because our flesh craves more attention in the ministry.

God balances everything, so that it can work in unity and peace.

Never say God told you to leave whom He put you together with because you want to preach more than maintain the balance of ministry and family.  Yes, some men are upset, yes, some are upset with you because of ministry, but that’s only because you have neglected and abandon your ministry of help-meet to him.

The men I talk to don’t have a problem with their wives being used by God.  They just have a problem with their wives just using them for their own selfish motives!

Women, lets do better.  And yes, I can talk and help you.  Why?  Because I once walked in error until God rebuked me, set me down, and gave me a complete outlook concerning marriage and His Kingdom!

And for those who will say, “I’m going to do what I want!” know that you are never a match for God, His word or His ways.

Be careful that you are not working in vain.  The people will yet benefit from what you’re doing, but you may get a rude awakening on the day of judgment!


~ Apostle Barbara R. Thomas

Apostle/Prophetess Barbara R. ThomasApostle Barbara R. Thomas is founder of I Come to Heal Ministries, A Woman’s touch Ministry, The Next Dimension Global Outreach Ministries and Spoken Word School of Ministry and she is on a mission travelling the world proclaiming the Gospel for soul to be won to the Kingdom of God. She has a mandate on her life to help brings others to their divine purpose.

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