It’s very harsh to minimize someone’s grief, loss or pain.
All loss is experienced at 100%. There are no “half grievers.” Whether someone was close to the person who has passed away or has had a time of distance from them, there’s absolutely still deep grief to process.
That doesn’t mean that all losses are equal or are perceived at the same level of emotional intensity. It just means that the emotional pain is unique to each griever and to the relationship they had with the person who died.
It’s absolutely not helpful to minimize people’s grief with statements of comparison, or by assuming that by the way they reacted to the death of someone, they weren’t affected.
Honor your friends and family members by allowing them to communicate the depth of their emotional reaction to their losses without any implication that they shouldn’t feel as sad as they do or, that their grief isn’t important in the moment.
Don’t compare their pain to anyone else’s. When we’re dealing with difficult emotions, it’s always possible to find a ‘worse’ situation as well as a similar situation.
However, this is absolutely invalidating. Whether someone else has it worse doesn’t change the emotional pain the person is feeling in the moment.
Their pain and loss and sadness is real! Walking with them in the present moment is the most loving, compassionate thing you can do.
There is not a right or a wrong way to grieve. Everyone grieves differently.
As a believer, I have turned to God’s Word to find strength and comfort while I grieve the recent loss of a Mother and 5 very dear friends within the past four months.
Here are a few verses that I have found great comfort in as I walk through this season of grief and sadness.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” Matthew 5:4.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God,” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.
In His Shadow,
~ Mary Lindow ©
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Mary Lindow has a passion for encouraging others – all generations, careers or vocations to live expressing excellence through personal integrity, healthy accountability, and wise management of talents and skills. She’s a sought after keynote, inspirational, humorous speaker and teacher across the USA and internationally in Ministers & Spiritual leaders Conferences, and training seminars for various organizations.