Narcissism is difficult to deal with in relationships, and recognizing it will help you to respond differently to it.
Jesus was constantly aware of what was in the heart of the people that he dealt with!
“There was no need for anyone to tell him about them, because he himself knew what was in their hearts,” John 2:25.
He knew when people were willing to hurt him, when people were insincere, when people were manipulating him, and when people were pretending.
It’s a Wild World!
You need to know who you are dealing with so you can respond in a way that is also wise.
Here are five characteristics of a narcissist:
1. A lack of empathy for anyone else. Narcissists are unable to see other people’s pain even when that pain is caused by their own actions.
It is as if they cannot see any viewpoint but their own. In fact, if you try to get them to understand they have hurt you, they will usually show contempt and disdain for your weakness.
2. A sense of entitlement or special treatment.
The narcissist expects to be treated special and expects that his/her wishes will be complied with. This expectation doesn’t allow others to have different opinions, say no, or have needs.
If you refuse to do what they want, you will be threatened, blamed, and made to feel guilty.
3. An exaggerated view of oneself.
Narcissists do not have an honest self assessment. They have an inflated view of their abilities, achievements, brilliance, or talent.
They don’t hesitate to talk about themselves or to flaunt their high view of themselves and expect others to recognize this superiority.
4. Lack of respect for others’ individuality.
You do not exist as a separate person with your own needs, opinions, desires, and individuality; instead, you live as an extension of the narcissist.
Your boundaries, needs, and opinions won’t be respected, because they don’t matter; the only thing that matters is what the narcissist feels, needs, wants, and believes.
5. An inability to look inside of their own souls.
When you try to get narcissists to look at themselves, you will find them extremely defensive.
They are not willing to admit they are wrong, to admit they are afraid, to admit they are weak, or to admit they are narcissists.
They will react angrily, manipulatively, punitively, and arrogantly to your criticism and suggestions.
There comes specific situations and times where you absolutely can no longer dance around the behaviors and condescending abuses.
Although Narcissists are masterful at appearing all knowing and grand, they can fool the crowd and make you look like a silly “little person” in order to feed their ego.
“In their own eyes they flatter themselves too much to detect or hate their sin,” Psalm 36:2.
Know this, God truly sees the situation in full scope and high definition.
If you must step away from the toxic and excessive criticism and unrelenting subtle and often heavy punishing behaviors that the narcissist uses to get even or control with, do so and without feeling the need to explain.
You can’t have honest dialog with a toxic person who refuses any real accountability for their behavior.
Live a simple and quiet life, and share your heart with those who are beautifully broken before God.
Finally, all of you, be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tender-hearted and humble.
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.… (1 Peter 3:8-9).
In His Shadow,
~ Mary Lindow ©
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Mary Lindow has a passion for encouraging others – all generations, careers or vocations to live expressing excellence through personal integrity, healthy accountability, and wise management of talents and skills. She’s a sought after keynote, inspirational, humorous speaker and teacher across the USA and internationally in Ministers & Spiritual leaders Conferences, and training seminars for various organizations.