Godly Support vs Emotional Ownership
When you are at a low point, begging, asking for help, needing favors, needing rescuing, some people feel useful, superior, needed, or in control.
Your struggle gives them a position. It allows them to say, “She needs me.”
It may even feed something in them pride, control, pity, savior-complex, or the need to feel above another person.
But when God begins to restore you, strengthen you, provide for you, open doors for you, and break the cycle of dependency, that same person or people may feel displaced.
They may not celebrate because your healing removes the role they enjoyed having in your life.
That is why everyone who helps you is not necessarily happy to see you whole.
Some people love being needed more than they love seeing you free.
There is a difference between godly support and emotional ownership.
Godly people help you and rejoice when you rise.
Controlling people help you but expect your weakness to keep you beneath them.
When the man at the pool of Bethesda was healed after thirty-eight years, not everyone celebrated.
Some immediately questioned why he was carrying his bed on The Sabbath instead of marveling that he was finally walking. ( John 5:8-16)
That is how religious, controlling, or jealous spirits behave they can see a miracle and still find something to criticize.
Some people can tolerate your gift as long as it serves them. They can tolerate your presence as long as you remain beneath them.
They can tolerate your prayers, labor, and loyalty as long as you are still needy enough to be controlled.
But when God starts correcting the imbalance, healing your mind, giving you confidence, blessing your children, restoring your finances, raising your voice, and removing the shame from your life suddenly they become silent, distant, critical, or offended.
Why?
Because your elevation reveals what was hidden in their heart.
This is why discernment is necessary. Not everyone who was present in your low season has the heart to walk with you in your healed season.
Sometimes God allows you to see this because He is teaching you not to confuse ACCESS with COVENANT, help with love, or pity with honor.
And spiritually, this is important.
When God delivers you from begging, scraping, and constantly needing people to validate or rescue you, He is not only changing your situation, He is restoring your dignity.
“He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth the needy out of the dunghill.” Psalm 113:7 KJV.
When God raises you from the dust, some people will celebrate. Others will miss the dust because that is where they preferred you.
Let them reveal themselves!
Do not become bitter. Do not repay evil. Do not despise the help you once received — but also do not ignore what God is showing you!
Shalom
~ Syreeta Thomas
I agree with you Elizabeth, such profound discernment in this post – since I had gone through some experiences myself of which The Lord had put a stop to taking things. “He’s not only changing your situation, He is restoring your dignity,” Awesome!
Blessings to you dear Syreeta.
What an insightful post. Profound discernment here was given to you by the Lord. Was thinking we’ve all walked through seasons of brokenness, testings, briefs, disappointments, especially those called to the prophetic walk.
As a single saint for 20 some years, and as a widow now of 15 years, I can truly relate to your post. Lived it. When Holy Spirit walks thru our soul in these seasons, His experience teaches us lessons that are deep. Yours is an overcomers journey. Thanks for sharing.
So true. Beautiful.
This happens in ministries all the time. Some people live for the feeling of being the helper who dispenses spiritual help for people to see. They will never talk about it that way but they will be sure the ones getting help are beneath them. They may even say freely it was given to them and they are spiritual by giving freely but the minute they announced it to others it was not free