NEVER discuss issues you may be having with your children with people, regardless of who they are — because I have learned that it will significantly impact how they view you and your children afterwards. 

Those conversations can have lasting effects on your child and can embarrass them and even destroy the trust they have in you.

Children learn and grow from their mishaps and experiences and they deserve privacy just like adults.

When people know what you and child go through they LABEL them , JUDGE them, CRITICIZE them even UNDERMINE them spiritually and emotionally treating them as less than, because of information you carried to them in a moment of frustration.

Many adults today are still healing from labels placed on them as children!

When you open up every struggle, mistake, or season your child is going through to people they rarely forget what you’ve told them, even after you and your child have healed, grown, and moved on.

You may forgive your child. God may restore them — but people often hold onto the last negative version of your child that you described!

Before you know it what started as “I just needed someone to talk to” can become the very thing that plants seeds of dishonor and prejudice against your child in other people’s hearts.

Protect your children at all costs!

The truth is, as parents we cannot be silence when there is real danger.

There are times you MUST seek help: e.g. if your child is in danger (abuse, self-harm, addiction, serious behavioral issues), get WISE COUNSEL, professional support, and spiritual covering.

Constant exposure and shaming erodes self-esteem, breeds insecurity and anger, and may push them into the arms of people who appear to “accept” them, even if those people are destructive influences.

This is one of the reasons many children become “runaways” and then get STIGMATIZED as unruly.

What we often call “rebellion” is sometimes a reaction to betrayal, exposure, and emotional homelessness.

When a child feels unheard at home, feels constantly judged or shamed, realizes their private struggles are public conversations, they may not have the maturity to say,  “I feel unsafe and emotionally uncovered here….”

Instead, they shut down or lash out… and in some cases, they detach and seek a physical escape.

They become perfect targets for predators!

So when someone comes along and says:

“I understand you.”

“Your parents don’t get you, but I do.”

“You can talk to me about anything.”

It feels like relief to them.

This is how many children end up groomed emotionally, pulled into abusive relationships, trafficked, exploited, or sexually preyed upon, used by older adults who pretend to “care.”

Spiritually, that child who was supposed to be covered at home is now uncovered in the open field, and wolves are always watching for uncovered sheep…

Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).

Covering is not denying wrong; it is protecting dignity while dealing with the issue.

A talebearer reveals secrets, but a faithful spirit concealeth the matter (Proverbs 11:13).

As a parent, you are called to be “a faithful spirit” over your child’s life.

Shalom
~ Syreeta Thomas

Syreeta Thomas

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