Is it wrong when we despair and weep when it seems as if there are no immediate answers to our pain or loss?
When was the last time you curled up into a little withered ball and had a big, hard cry? Mine was today.
It was messy, ugly, and exhausting. It was also important!
There are days that I can be propelled in heart by pouring out joy and wisdom to others, to falling right into a big heap of tears and hopelessness the next day.
When it seems that there are no rational answers to explain our deepest despair, we don’t want to hear trite, “one liner” explanations.
My own tragic and “torrential tears” times of despair have taught me the value of empathetic silence and listening for the unspoken, as well as the spoken pain and wounds in others.
Numerous times people would try to encourage me and tell me, “What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger. So, this will make you such a stronger person!”
However, this kind of statement really isn’t true and more that that, it’s a form of being “falsely advised”.
It is a surface response and really does minimize a person who is in pain. Have you ever had just too much sorrow and pain before?
Of course you have!
As I have sat with people in their deep despair, my heart’s response was to echo the deep hurt that I was hearing and to provide them with a time to lament, to grieve, to mourn, and even wail.
I didn’t want to be like Job’s “so-called friends” in Scripture who were simply miserable comforters or someone who just placidly sits nearby like a wet fish, and marks time.
Giving a person in deep despair the safety and freedom to lament openly can bring tears of healing.
The laments and groans we hear in Scripture can also comfort us, because we learn that God desires us to be genuinely honest with our entire range of emotions.
It is okay to have a range of emotions?…..
Especially when you are in a time or a place where life is NOT feeling safe, or if you have had deep losses!
HEY! In Fact…
Yes. You are feeling off balance and unsure when you are in pain or have had a deep loss.
With the following Readings from the Old Testament which are Hebrew Scriptures, we can safely approach God and cry out in anguish for a response. (The Hebrews understood the need to lament and mourn!)
“But as for me, I will pray to you, LORD; answer me, God, at a time you choose.
Answer me because of your great love, because you keep your promise to save.
Save me from sinking in the mud; keep me safe from my enemies, safe from the deep water.
Don’t let the flood come over me; don’t let me drown in the depths or sink into the grave.
Answer me, LORD, in the goodness of your constant love; in your great compassion turn to me!
Don’t hide yourself from your servant; I am in great trouble — answer me now!” Psalm 69:3-17.
We can be certain like the psalmist that God will answer our heartfelt cries for help. And yes, We can be weary while we wait.
“Listen to me, LORD, and answer me, for I am helpless and weak.
Save me from death, because I am loyal to you; save me, for I am your servant and I trust in you.
You are my God, so be merciful to me; I pray to you all day long.
Make your servant glad, O LORD, because my prayers go up to you. You are good to us and forgiving, full of constant love for all who pray to you.
Listen, LORD, to my prayer; hear my cries for help. I call to you in times of trouble, because you answer my prayers,” Psalm 86.1-7.
In His Shadow,
~ Mary Lindow ©
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Mary Lindow has a passion for encouraging others – all generations, careers or vocations to live expressing excellence through personal integrity, healthy accountability, and wise management of talents and skills. She’s a sought after keynote, inspirational, humorous speaker and teacher across the USA and internationally in Ministers & Spiritual leaders Conferences, and training seminars for various organizations.