“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another,” Jesus. John 13:34-35.
Just the fact that Jesus spoke these words is enough for me to know that they are good. The fact that they are an outpouring of His divine wisdom is enough for me to know that that they are right. Yet there are times when I struggle. Perhaps these times come even more frequently than I am willing to acknowledge to the outside world.
When I feel vulnerable I have a tendency to build walls of protection. When I feel as though someone is out to cause me harm, I take shelter behind these walls. The image I project outwardly is impervious even as on the inside I am weak, wobbly and near collapse.
Why can I not let go of all semblances of self protection? Why can I not obey this commandment which is so easily understood and yet so difficult to live out? Why can I not let Christ’s words be evidence enough for my heart? Why can I not trust Him to be my protection when I feel deeply vulnerable and unlovable in the eyes of another?
While I know that love unfettered is the answer, the questions continue raging within me. How do I die to self? How do I live in complete abandon? How do I let go?
I want to see the perfected work of my Savior and sometimes I cannot bear the wait. Surely He is the only truly good thing within me. Without Him I am merely chaff blown on the wind.
~ Mitch Salmon