If there is one thing that I know people struggle with, and I am estimating women probably more so than men, is self worth. Identity and self esteem issues are huge, and the people that tune in to read this post prove it. It is by far one of the most popular articles, so what does that tell you about the issues people are carrying with them every day? Self hatred and rejection issues often occur in childhood and remains with a person their entire life, unless they do something on purpose to deal with it.
There can be many things and various life situations that leave a person dealing with emotional pain,anger, bitterness, regret, feelings of guilt, shame or remorse. All of these things, when left unhealed, can be internalized and turn into self rejection. Not all are listed here, but know that our God is incredibly loving and merciful. He can forgive any sin we bring to him, and 1 John 1:9 tells us that He is faithful and just to forgive our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
How it manifests physically:
Self rejection, self hatred, shame, insecurity, and identity issues are at the heart of depression, weight issues, and many forms of physical disease. Did you know that things such as diabetes, addictions, migranes, lupus, MS, and many forms of stomach and digestive system disorders such as Crohn’s disease and other physical issues have been traced back to spiritually rooted issues? It’s true. Issues such as self rejection, self hatred, and inner emotional conflict all contribute to them.
Every addiction is tied to a direct connection with a need to feel loved. Even homosexuality is directly related to a need to feel loved and accepted, but the need is filed with an illegitimate means. The root of rejection comes most often from a lack of parental love, acceptance and validation. But, the good news is, even when that is lacking from a natural parent, we have a heavenly Father that can fill that emptiness and fulfill that deep longing.
The void in our hearts is designed by our Creator to be filled with Himself. Without Him, we are lost. When a person does not feel loved, they begin to reject themselves. Rejection of self and a failure to love oneself. Many physical illnesses and disease have their roots in spirits of self-rejection, self-hatred, guilt, low self esteem issues and other negative self talk that comes from a spirit of rejection, abandonment and lack of fatherly/parental love.
When a person attacks themselves through self hatred and self rejection, the body eventually begins to come into agreement with what is going on spiritually and begins to attack itself. This is where a lot of autoimmune disease comes from. When a person doesn’t love themselves, the body comes into agreement with a spirit of infirmity which then begins to manifest the poison of a person’s words.
The person has spoken words of agreement with a spirit of death rather than life. They have rejected what God has said about them which brings them into agreement with unbelief rather than faith. The longer it continues, the more fear, anxiety, illness and other spirits grow stronger, eventually weakening a person so much they often cannot recover. Repentance and breaking agreement with those negative words are the only way to turn the situation around so that the body can begin to heal.
A common block to healing – unforgiveness:
One thing that can hinder a person’s ability to be healed (both emotionally and physically) is holding on to long term unforgiveness. When we judge others, we place ourselves in the place of God. Often people are so hurt that they are not done being angry about whatever caused that hurt and offense. But the Bible is clear that when we do not forgive, our own sins are not forgiven either.
When we choose not to forgive, we are turned over to demonic tormentors as punishment. A spirit of fear brings tormenting thoughts. Torment causes condemnation which results in feelings of rejection. Forgiveness is such a big deal with God that He cannot overlook it. J Jesus gave his very life and forgave us before we even asked. He offered His grace before we changed our ways or made amends.
We simply need to receive it. If we choose to retain unforgiveness, it blocks our prayers, blocks our ability to be received into heaven, and torments our thought life. We continue to dwell on painful thoughts and memories and are chained to our past until we realize our faults, confess them to God and choose to forgive those that have hurt us. When we do, the prison door opens and our hearts and minds are free. There is a great deal of injustice in this world, but nothing is worth the surrender of peace with ourselves and God. Nothing is worth sacrificing eternal life because we are too stubborn to let go of hurt and offense. You must forgive. Please read another article on this subject,
When conflicting beliefs withstand healing:
Another thing that causes feelings of rejection is the inner conflict a person has in their belief system when it comes to feeling safe and secure in their relationship with God. This is a huge struggle for many, many people. Most people land in one of two camps. Either their beliefs about God are tied to a fear of rejection (not being good enough, struggling with sin issues, violating one’s conscience in regards to sin, or feeling judged or disapproved because of it); or, they embrace the joy of knowing they are loved and accepted by God and their approval rating has nothing to do with them, but all about what Jesus has done through His shed blood, cross and resurrection.
Let me give you some good news! God does not reject the vessel whom His Spirit inhabits. It is also completely impossible to both love and reject simultaneously.
Beloved, God is not schizophrenic. His love and acceptance are not based on our performance rating. His love and acceptance are based on the fact that the Spirit of His Son lives in us (if we have received Jesus Christ as our Savior). And, since He has told us that nothing created can separate us from the love of God, and He has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us, our confidence should remain steadfast towards Him.
Settle it in your heart and discard those uncertain, double minded thoughts! Sometimes the very things we struggle with are there because God is shaking our belief system to weed out the lies and misconceptions about what He has said in His word.
A person will feel very unstable and perhaps struggle with self worth issues until they finally make the decision that the enemy is a liar and God’s word is truth. When the matter is settled, so is your faith, and your feelings of self doubt and rejection will leave. Hallelujah!
Take heart. Even the Apostle Paul lamented that the thing he willed to do, he found himself struggling to continuously live the life he wanted to do; and the sin he didn’t want to do, he found himself struggling with. Yet, we can all take comfort in the fact that BECAUSE God’s Spirit dwells in us, we are ‘in Christ.’ And if we are in Christ, we are ‘in the Spirit’ because His Spirit is in us; therefore, there is therefore no condemnation – even when we wrestle to keep doing the right thing and fail. (Read Romans again with new eyes!). If our approval or our righteousness can be attained through our own efforts, then we do not need Christ. Friend, do not let the enemy, well meaning ministers or even your own thoughts accuse you to yourself.
Don’t be led you astray when it comes to the gospel. It is called the gospel of grace for a reason. But if our thoughts condemn us, then ask yourself where is it coming from? Because it is not coming from God. It is either from the enemy, yourself, or a human spirit – all of which will try to produce self rejection, self loathing and more because you have focused on not measuring up rather than focusing on how good God is and what He has made available to you! Get out of that trap! “You have not received the bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption…,”Romans 8:13.
All rejection is tied to fear which is not from God! The wonderful encouragement for us all is found in Hebrew 10:17-23, “Their sins and lawless deeds I will remember no more.” What good news! God does not remember our sins and therefore does not hold them against us. And, if you keep reading, you will discover that the blood of Jesus is powerful enough to cleanse our conscience of guilt, regret, shame, and many other unprofitable thoughts that lead to self rejection, condemnation and other negative feelings. When you search the scriptures for yourself it becomes YOUR truth, and nothing can take it from you.
These things follow people around unless they decide to take authority over the spiritual root issues. You can choose to stop it! I hope I have clarified that rejection always comes from fear, and fear is not of God, (Read 2 Timothy 1:7).
Life is short and we need to take care of ourselves. Whatever occurred in our life that caused us to be wounded, abused, neglected, or turn feelings of rejection inward upon ourselves can stop, and we can come back into agreement with God so that He can heal us – inside and out. Here is a prayer written specifically for these issues. But remember, if there is some specific issue that is troubling your conscience, or perhaps someone you need to forgive (including yourself), talk to God about that first, confess it, then take this prayer to Him as an act of faith towards your healing. Pray it out loud, don’t just read or meditate on it. Be blessed today, and know that God is FOR YOU. He is waiting to answer your prayer!
Dear Heavenly Father,
Today I come to you to acknowledge that I have sinned against myself by believing lies instead of what Your word says about me.
I renounce unbelief! I have let the pain of disappointment or feeling like a disappointment to others influence my thoughts and feelings. Your word tells me I am fearfully and wonderfully made, (Psalm 139).
Your word tells me I am not rejected, but I am accepted in the beloved, (Ephesians 1:6).
Your word says I am blessed and not cursed. I am the apple of Your eye. I have worth. I have value. For a long time I have had a hard time believing that.
Today I break any and all agreements with myself and Satan that have allowed spirits of rejection, self hatred, a spirit of abandonment, fear, insecurity, inferiority, shame, bitterness, self pity and unforgiveness to manifest.
I renounce all of them and I command them to leave me at once. Help me to shut my ears to the enemy’s unloving thoughts. They are not my own thoughts but his.
Father, I repent for allowing these things a place in my life. I thank You for forgiveness. I thank You, Lord Jesus, for taking my pain, my sin and shame upon Yourself so that I don’t have to bear these things. I thank You that Your blood and Your word cleanse my conscience from unprofitable thoughts and renew my mind.
Holy Spirit, forgive me for grieving You and not allowing Your Spirit to influence my thought life and actions. Please come heal my mind, my emotions, my spirit and my physical body. Heal my disappointments, my hope and my faith. Heal my ability to love myself and others. Help me see myself through Your eyes and to walk in my true identity.
Father, give me Your love for others but also to help me love myself and to appreciate myself in a healthy way. I come into agreement with God. I declare that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am loved, accepted, and I am blessed by the Lord. I am surrounded with favor and grace. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Blessings are chasing me down to put themselves into my hands. I am a confident person because you have made me whole and complete. I lack nothing because the Lord is my shepherd and I do not lack. Therefore, I am in want of nothing. Everything that is available to Christ is available to me, because I am a child of God.
I have nothing to fear! Fear no longer has permission to bring torment. I embrace the grace You have provided through Your sacrifice, Lord Jesus, and Your love and acceptance for me. Holy Spirit,
I thank You for giving me the fruit of self control in my thought life and I ask You to empower me to live for God. Fill me with Your fullness. I ask You for supernatural assistance to overcome negative self talk, and I give YOU authority over my mouth and my actions.
Help me overcome the areas of struggle in my life. You know what they are. I thank You for victory.
In Jesus name, amen.
~ Laura Gagnon
Laura Gagnon is a woman who has been blessed with the gift of understanding God’s restorative work through her own personal experience. Through her insights and revelation, God has led her to influence many individuals into a restored relationship with Jesus Christ. She is a woman who stands on the promises of God, encouraging others in an elevated expectation of the miraculous and declares the gift of His life. Laura is the author of Healing the Heart of a Woman and writes for her blog, Beyond the Barriers.