Knowing how to set healthy boundaries within relationships is something people need to learn and not feel guilty about.
Often people are upset because I only allow them so much access in my life. I have learned through experience, that you must set these boundaries in order for you to maintain your own mental emotional and spiritual health.
You can’t allow people to enter into areas that are over the limits. In your personal life, you must set the limitations concerning how you are to be treated by family and friends. If not, you will find yourself on a emotional roller coaster with persons who feel as if they can enter your atmosphere and mistreat you or take advantage of your love you have for them.
Even when it comes to marriage, when I counsel, I always tell the couple find out from each other the boundaries not to cross toward each other.
Regardless of the love, you have to know what will happen to cause your spouse to react in a negative way, or cause serious problems and consequences in the marriage. In ministry, you have to make sure that your boundaries are made clear to those you interact with.
You have to set limits in order to keep those you are leading from losing their respect for you or thinking they can enter into intimate areas of your life disrupting your peace or causing an imbalance in the spiritual relationship. Sometimes I deal with persons who feel like they can say or do anything they want, because they feel we have a special bond of friendship.
When I set the limit and let them know I’m not dealing with their behavior, they become offended, because they think their relationship with me means they can disrespect me and it’s okay, because they know me and I should allow them to release their toxic emotions upon me.
Sometimes I think people feel like a leader is supposed to just let people walk over them, because they are a leader.
Being a leader does not mean that we are being standoffish or unapproachable or unattainable or prideful because we set a boundary. It means we have to set that line in order to continue to be effective in teaching and training those that we are called to.
Healthy boundaries are necessary in all relationships to keep toxic emotions attitudes from coming in and to be able to maintain the love and respect necessary for those relationships to continue to flourish.
A healthy balance is always in order!
~ Apostle Barbara R. Thomas
Apostle Barbara R. Thomas is founder of I Come to Heal Ministries, A Woman’s touch Ministry, The Next Dimension Global Outreach Ministries and Spoken Word School of Ministry and is on a mission, travelling the world, proclaiming the Gospel, for souls to be won to the Kingdom of God. She has life mandate to help bring others to their divine purpose.