A common misbelief and sure setup to stay stuck in life about God and pain is, “if God really loved me, He wouldn’t let me experience pain….”
It’s typical that when we experience trauma, beliefs are usually developed for the purpose of self–protection.
Some of the most common ones I have heard and at times have said myself when I have been traumatized by shocking treatment from others or wounds (did you know the meaning of trauma is also translated as wound?) are,
- “I can’t trust anyone,”
- “It’s all my fault, ” and
- “There must be something wrong with me!”
Ah! The brain is seeking repair. Answers. Serenity. Calm after the Insult to its function.
When we partner or agree with these beliefs, because of our desperate ideas about the need for survival, then it’s natural to have some confusion about the idea of dependency.
Meaning… Depending on someone to rescue us, help us, FIX US!
Human relationships will include disappointment, pain, and hurt, both unintentionally and intentionally, even in the best of circumstances.
How we see and understand pain and the conclusions or interpretations we make, (both consciously and subconsciously), about ourselves, others, the world, and God, effect us at every level of our body, soul, and spirit.
But good news is out there!
Your story doesn’t end with the trauma you’ve suffered.
A better future is possible for you!
You’re much more than just a person who suffered traumatic events. You can be a survivor.
Actually, MORE than a survivor! You can recover with God’s help. And, God can even turn your trauma into a redemptive source of blessing in your life and the lives of other people.
Recognize the possibilities!
Deal with your anger.
Admit the anger you feel as a result of the trauma you experienced.
Ask God to help you stop expressing it in destructive ways and start expressing it in healthy ways.
Use the pent up energy in your anger to accomplish something constructive, like working to help solve the problem that caused your trauma (for example, if you were abused, reach out to others who have gone through the same type of abuse).
But whatever you do, don’t commiserate non-stop with those who choose to not look for ways to be fully restored. It’s easier to sit in an ash heap and mourn, but it’s not going to move you forward. It’s counter productive and others will most likely not want to sit there forever.
Release your anger by writing about it in a journal, or in a letter to the person or people who traumatized you (but don’t mail the letter).
Be honest with God about the anger you feel!
Doing this releases its power over you, giving you the freedom to pursue healing.
Sometimes that anger that we want to project onto others is actually us feeling embarrassed for bad behaviors while we are still learning healthy ways to release pain.
Facing that truth frees us from adding to victim mentalities.
We DO need wise counsel and friends who love and care about our recovery, to be honest when they see a mean streak or blaming behavior in us.
Patterns and destructive habits bring about pain in our lives.
Breaking self defense mechanisms is a huge victory towards defeating trauma!
It’s usually when we are in the depths of this despair, that we seek freedom. Unfortunately, the patterns of distress, disorder and dysfunction are accompanied by confusion.
Often there are times in the midst of life’s struggles, that we mistakenly think that freedom equals “feeling good”.
We come to believe that if we can be free from the pain, from a quick fix (like self -medicating, avoiding, taking alcohol and drugs) checking out with binge television watching or non stop technology, then everything will be alright, and we will calm down and return to a sort of “normal”.
Unfortunately, these quick fixes lead to more chaos and emotional pain. As we attempt to disconnect from the pain, we become separated from reality, we become socially isolated or alone in our addictions.
We do have choices in the process of healing.
We can choose self–protection or independence and turn away from God in the midst of our pain.
When we take this stance or position, we are either knowingly or unknowingly partnering with pride, unbelief, and despair.
The other choice is to turn toward God in the midst of our suffering.
This stance or position is one of faith, boldness, vulnerability and courage. It is choosing to draw near to Him.
The willingness to enter into dependency is a necessary choice to experience being “tuned in heart” with God.
As we connect with the Godhead, we receive truth and the capacity for healing, and freedom. It’s the experience of joyful intimacy in whatever way we need.
He alone knows what our heart needs and…
… He will meet us right where we are.
Freedom is not about being centered on comfort or pursuing the “quick fix”.
We have to face the challenge of distressing thoughts, emotions, memories and troubling symptoms.
These challenges are given labels like: major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress, sexual addiction, drug addiction, chronic pain and many more.
Freedom is gaining the ability to face the problems that trap us and embrace the opportunity to grow and change.
The pain that we face is quite real, but how do we find true freedom from this struggle instead of temporary relief?
“So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed,” John 8:36.
We all seek freedom and a place of serenity away from pain, destructive habits, or cycles in life.
Jesus can free us from this slavery that keeps us from realizing the true purpose for our lives.
Although there are many facets of our physical, mental and spiritual well being, faith is at the core.
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (serenity).
Take My Yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I AM gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest (serenity) for your souls. For My Yoke is easy and my burden is light,” Matthew 11:28–30.
Jesus can free us from the burdens from which we seek refuge.
Jesus promises love, healing, and peace with God.
But His offer also comes with a challenging question:
Do we need His help?
Do we believe that maybe our own ideas about healing might be better?
Are we mad because we have to let go of pet habits and seeking attention?
The beginning of counseling requires the same deep, self searching questions:
Am I willing to admit that my life has become unmanageable left to my own solutions?
Am I ready to acknowledge that I can’t face this problem on my own?
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor,” Luke 4:18-19.
Jesus is referred to as the “Wonderful Counselor” and “Prince of Peace.”
Where do you put your faith?
Who is The LORD of your life?
Here is the time to be brutally honest.
All are welcome to seek help! COME AS YOU ARE.
The first task is to open your heart! In times of struggle, there will always be an opportunity to experience the powerful peace that the Lord can bring into our life of chaos.
What are the emotions that trap you?
List the hurts, anger, fear, and pride that hinder your life.
What are the behavior patterns that restrain you?
What are they key events in your life that generate ongoing painful consequences?
Where are places in you life where you are stuck?
When you pursue freedom from the problems above, where do you turn?
How would you describe you relationship with Jesus Christ? Are you open to considering the next step toward freedom and serenity?
This is Real and Available!
God, as our Heavenly Father, intended for us to know that we can experience pain or discomfort and either remain in or return to a state of peace.
He intended for parents to provide experiences of safety that would set the child’s brain to know and understand the nature of a dependable and loving God.
This “setting of the brain” is very important because it sets us towards healthy attachment and dependency.
“I sought The LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. ALL.” Psalm 34:4.
* * * * * * *
Pray this beautiful prayer from the ministry group “©Elisha’s Mantel” as you pour out your heart to God about the trauma and pain you are experiencing.
(You can use it as often as you need to while you grow in Serenity and Peace.)
“A Prayer for releasing Trauma from the Spirit, Soul, and Body”
Lord Jesus, I ask that you would come as the Prince of Peace and bring Peace to ______.
Come and establish your dominion of peace in him/her and manifest yourself in such a way that ______ will know that you are here, and allow him/her to feel the depths of your love.
I ask that you rebuke any forces of darkness that seek to harm _____ in any way, or have tried to keep him/her locked in this prison of trauma.
You have not given ______ a spirit of fear, but of love, power and soundness of mind, and that is what I claim for him/her today.
As we pray, I ask that you would be as a poultice, and draw from _____ all the pain, trauma, shock, fear, terror and shame, bringing it all to death on your cross. You suffered and died for _____and we appropriate all that you accomplished for him/her.
Pour in your love and grace and by the power of the Holy Spirit remove any traumatic memory that has been stored in the cells of ______ ‘s body and restore the cells to perfect order and vibration.
Lord I bless the very moment the egg and the sperm came together and _____ came to be. I bless the conception and every moment that ______ was in his/her mother’s womb.
Holy Spirit I ask that you brood over the original DNA and restore all vibrations, frequencies, tones and colors within ______ and remove anything that is not of you.
Heavenly Father, I ask that you remove any trauma experienced in the womb; absorbed from the womb; or passed down through the generations, I ask that You would heal the very DNA and remove all shock, trauma, fear, terror and shame that has come through his/her generational flow.
Together we plant the cross of Jesus Christ firmly between_____ and his/her generations and ask that all iniquity be stopped at the cross of Christ.
Forgive those in his/her generations who traumatized others, or manipulated, dominated or controlled through fear and torment. Release your precious blood and heal all unresolved grief and pain.
_______, I bless your birth, and call you forth into newness of life. I say that you are welcome on this earth, There is a place for you here. Your heavenly Father has a purpose for you and a plan to give you a future and a hope; to prosper you in every way.
Heavenly Father, bring your healing and please remove any shock, trauma, fear or terror that _____experienced in the birthing process or in the moments following and help him/her to fully embrace the life that you have given.
I ask You to come into _______’s conscious memory, unconscious memory and subconscious memory and remove all shock, trauma, fear, shame, and the pain that has caused so much torment.
Heal the Amygdala, and remove all shock, trauma, fear, terror and shame from the emotions. I ask that you bring healing to the “fear center” of ______’s brain.
Turn off the alarms that have been ringing for so long, and replace the fear, dread and hyper vigilance with godly discernment.
Let him/her know when there is true danger and give him/her wisdom to know how to deal with it.
Bring peace and rest to that part of _______’s heart that has always had to stand guard and be alert; remove any pervasive low-level anxiety.
Heal the immune system and remove all toxins that remain from any chemicals or hormones that have poured through his/her body for so many years.
Heavenly Father, please remove the trauma from ______’s eyes and ears. Wash over any images “seared” upon the soul, with the blood of Jesus Christ.
Remove the trauma from any words spoken and remove any dis-harmony, dis-ease, or dis-order that these words or images have caused.
Sing your song of love over _______ and bring everything within him/her into agreement with your song and original design.
In the name and by the Blood of Jesus Christ I prophesy order and healing; into your spirit, soul, and body.
Remove any trauma or shame that is associated with scent. Remove any trauma from the skin.
Lord, trauma has shaken ______to the very core of his/her foundations, and I ask that you heal every crack with your love. Restore trust and the grace to believe in you and receive your promises, and to trust others.
I ask, Lord Jesus, that you would remove all shock, trauma, fear, terror and shame from the will and spirit of ______.
Restore his/her will and strengthen it in every way.
I ask Lord Jesus, that you would remove all shock, trauma, fear, terror and shame from the muscles, ligaments, tendons, bones and bone marrow.
Bring your healing power to every area where ______’s spirit has been crushed or broken, and restore health, vitality and vigor. Make his/her bones and connective tissues strong.
I ask that you would remove all shock, trauma, fear and terror off the organs of ______’s body.
(Ask The LORD to reveal any organs that you should pray specifically for.)
Lord, I ask that you would sever all fear bonds, trauma bonds, and all unhealthy and unholy soul ties that have been created through trauma.
I break every assignment of trauma against this person and bind and send away every “guard” assigned to ______.
We receive and appropriate the love; power and soundness of mind that you have promised to give him/her.
Lord Jesus, bring to death any “old ways” of responding and reacting to shock, trauma, fear and terror.
Dismantle the ungodly structures of defense and establish new neurological connections to the joy center.
Rebuild within ______ new godly structures of defense based on scripture; trust in you; and true understanding of his/her spiritual authority as a daughter/son of the Most High God.
Fill every cell with your peace and healing grace. Displace any darkness with your light.
Keep ______ in your perfect peace, especially in the night seasons and bring rest. Send heavenly hosts to guard ______ as he/she sleeps and quite him/her with your love.
Amen.” (© Elisha’s Mantle)
Click here to download printable PDF copy of prayer:
In His Shadow,
~ Mary Lindow ©
Duplication and sharing of this writing is welcomed as long as complete message and website information for Mary Lindow is included. Thank You!
Mary Lindow has a passion for encouraging others – all generations, careers or vocations to live expressing excellence through personal integrity, healthy accountability, and wise management of talents and skills. She’s a sought after keynote, inspirational, humorous speaker and teacher across the U.S.A and internationally in Ministers & Spiritual leaders Conferences, and training seminars for various organizations.