Do You Resent What Made You?


In the early 90’s when my husband separated, then divorced me, I was sick and forced to live with my real mom who was part of the ‘Unity’ new age cult.

It was like I had to learn a new level of warfare again.  My son was 12 and I woke up in the night with a familiar spirit I felt sitting down on the end of our bed.

Well meaning friends told me to refuse the divorce, not realizing God was rescuing me, so I could get the emotional healing I needed.  I heard so much differing advice, but the advice from God was to give John into his hands. (He was already involved with another woman from work.)  God told me to let go and give him into His hands.

I had so many emotions going through my brain it was staggering.  As it was I had for many years heard so many voices of perfectionism in my head that told me I was hopeless and worthless.  I’d had curses spoken over me most of my growing up life and many by myself.  I battled insanity.

Later, when the Toronto revival came, there was one night when a girl prophesied over me, “You have battled insanity (from the sexual and ritual abuse as a child), so God is releasing to you Wisdom!  Beauty for ashes, you see!”

The glory is birthed through pain.  At some point later when going through inner emotional healing, where Judy came to my apartment every week for hours, for four years, helping me to hear and see what Holy Spirit wanted to do and heal, helping to heal from all the abuse and forgive the perpetrators, the LORD spoke to me prophetically saying, “What right do you have to resent what has made you who you are?”

Pride is a sly enemy, trying to get us into SELF PITY and resentment, bitterness or condemnation to bring in other troops to keep us from intimacy with God that is the very thing that heals us.

It also will pull us towards answers in the new age and occult to seek out power we can feel if we are in a desert place.

My mother went that route.  God showed me at that time she went through death; about how the tribe of Dan got eliminated from the 12 tribes as we see in Revelation, through idolatry.

Idolatry starts with self like.  James shows us.

“But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions).  Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death.  Do not be misled, my beloved brethren.  Swallowing lies brings great cost.  But God’s presence destroys the hold.  Be comforted in the Holy Spirit if you’re going through pain!  For if we share in His pain we will share in His glory!”   James 1:14-16 AMPC.

“For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently?  but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously,”   
1 Peter 2:20-23.

“But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified,”   1 Peter 4:13-14.

Dependence on Jesus and the Holy Spirit and thankfulness are signs of humility versus the pride of self sufficiency and false humility and self loathing.
~ Priscilla

Priscilla Van Sutphin of Upstream Ministriesby: PRISCILLA VAN SUTPHIN of Upstream Ministries, California and  Email: Donate to Upstream: via secure Paypal by sending as gift to or send to: Upstream, PMB 545, 14311 Newport Blvd, Suite G, Tustin, CA 9278.

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