The Language of LOVE?


Most of humankind prefers not to talk openly about any topic that addresses personal weaknesses. 

(Sweaty palms and increased heart rate starting?  Keep reading…..)

Don’t feed fear and dread!  We are ALL rarely prepared to discuss this aspect of our lives honestly – not even with our loved ones, mentors or close friends. We would much rather “dodge the issue”.

When someone asks how we are doing, our usual answer is, “Fine!”  Or “I’m good! Thanks!” ….. accompanied with a rather bland but stoic facial mask, firmly put in place!

…..The wonderful news is that we can live beyond our weaknesses.  They are the place where new life can often break forth. In other words, we do not have to remain stuck.

Accountability isn’t just saying that you are, it’s BEING open and accountable with our struggles, insecurities and self-hiding of these things!

James 5:16 tell us,

“So! Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working!”


Power AS it’s working!

Chew on that a bit!

It’s easy to speak the language that we are comfortable with, or not speak at all.  Making others feel loved in their own love language however, requires effort and intentional kindness, humility, and the personal choice to mature in our communication with others.

Gary Chapman, the Author Of “What Is Your Love Language” has wonderful windows of insight about this.

He says,

“What we say matters a lot. HOW we say it matters just as much, if not more.  Sometimes our words are saying one thing but our tone of voice is saying another.  (Snarky communication is a control issue.  It’s condescending and shaming.)  We can unkindly reveal our short tempers, personal insecurities, seething resentment, feelings of frustration and fatigue with poor communication.  That’s a double message!” 

It also tells others that you have a hidden agenda or something going on inside that’s not healthy.  They feel it being projected onto them.

Admitting that you’ve blown it somewhere with not communicating clearly or have procrastinated about it is being honest and owning up to insecurities and short comings.

The more you allow this option to take place in your life, the easier it becomes and ….  the freer YOU become.

(Just don’t be whining and moody when you step up and face this openly. That’s called blame shifting and immature.)


When sharing words of affirmation and validation with others, be generous and genuine. People usually interpret our meaning based on the tone of our voice, not only the words we use.


“Have you ever tried to speak a language you didn’t know very well?  If so, you know it can feel somewhat awkward and uncomfortable.  But the more you learn and practice this, (yes, humbly) the easier it becomes.  The same is true for speaking a love language that doesn’t come naturally to you.  Initially, it just doesn’t feel right.  Little by little, though, that starts to change.  With enough humble practice, you’ll start to see positive and healing results.”


When we admit our weaknesses, we discover one of the greatest secrets of the spiritual journey – that in our weakness lies our strength.

This is one of the most powerful spiritual truths that we will ever discover.  Rather than rejecting us because of our weaknesses, it opens the door for God to come alongside us and help us overcome what had previously defeated us.

God’s strength can lead us beyond our weakness and enable us to grow spiritually strong.  It’s where we limp along the most that we can experience the power of God.

God blesses humility.  As the Holy Spirit picks us up, that is where our weakness comes in.

It reminds us of our need for God’s strength to accomplish anything for Him.

Our need, honestly expressed, opens the door for God’s grace . “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Let’s Pray About this Right Now!

O Lord, I do need You!

Without Your Spirit strengthening me, I am nothing.

You are my strength.

You are my love.

Thank You Father that Your Spirit teaches me all things, guides me in to all truth, is able to purify my heart and cleanses my mind – when I hand every thought and word captive to Him, in willing surrender.

LORD, I thank You that no matter what difficulties I face, there is nothing that can separate me from Your love, wisdom and grace.

In the name of Jesus I lift these words up to you Heavenly Father.



In His Shadow,
~ Mary Lindow ©

Duplication and sharing of this writing is welcomed as long as complete message and website information for Mary Lindow is included.  Thank You!

” THE MESSENGER ” ~ Mary Lindow

Link to Mary Lindow's websiteMary Lindow has a passion for encouraging others – all generations, careers or vocations to live expressing excellence through personal integrity, healthy accountability, and wise management of talents and skills. She’s a sought after keynote, inspirational, humorous speaker and teacher across the U.S.A and internationally in Ministers & Spiritual leaders Conferences, and training seminars for various organizations.

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The Language of LOVE? — 1 Comment

  1. Omg, so powerful.Help us Yahuyah. I need to be this at all times. Thank you sister Mary.