There comes a time, when we simply have to address some things, we have either looked over, or chose to ignore. To the point, I have come face to face once more, with some issues, I cannot bypass or go around today.
In allowing the Spirit to once more work me over again, for the purpose of being more useful to Him in this hour, I have wept so many tears that I am wrung out. I do not have the ability to trust; I don’t know how to forgive myself, or to show mercy on myself.
One of our dear ladies spoke again about living in the spiritual realm, not in the natural one. She spoke of fellowshipping in the Spirit, with the Spirit; not with carnal man. I have to say this in the nicest way I can; many of us, have been so shallow. We have claimed to know so much, yet we know almost nothing about the realm of the Spirit, about how angels actually come to minister to us and how we can communicate with them. See, some of you are already running; and we are dying, for lack of true knowledge.
Why, did we pick and choose the things we wanted to know and understand, and yet deny some of the ones we needed the most? For example, we might as well say, that Apostle James, did not know what he was talking about; he was wrong. When I mention confessing your faults, many are going to tune out and run away. I can’t do that. I need healing in some very bruised and wounded places, in my body, mind and spirit. We are denying healing to one another, by making excuses and it’s a terrible cop-out to do so.
How could it be, that so many things were not taught? It’s because the Teacher, was either not there, are not allowed to do so. This idea that one of the ministries God set in the church, can now call themselves the head of all of the other ministries, would be truly laughable, if it were not so serious.
One of the ministries God put in his Body, was the ministry of the Teacher. A lot of preachers cannot teach; many in leadership cannot teach either. Teaching is a gift; one that is anointed by the Holy Ghost for the purpose of ministering the Word of God to His people. It’s been proven to us.
I was struggling with trusting something I know the angels of the Lord spoke to me. I knew they were right; I knew I could trust them, but yet I was full of terrible fear; I could not stop worrying. I cried out to the Lord today, and I asked why? Why can’t I accept it will be as you’ve said?
A voice spoke to me and said, “It’s because of brokenness.”
I so want to forgive others, and I desire greatly to show mercy to those who need it, but I can’t give it to myself. I realized, that the part of me that made this possible, was broken. And it will not ever be better, unless Jesus Christ heals it for me.
“Gifts,” of healing. Why didn’t someone teach about this. We say we have Christ in us, but how many broken hearts have we healed?
Jesus healed mentally ill people; lunatics, they were called. How many crazy people have we healed?
Through the power of the Holy Ghost, how many did we set free? Binding up those who are bruised; restoring those who desperately need it?
What kind of experience do we really have? There are now more broken and wounded church folk out here, than there is inside certain walls! There are even broken hurting people, sitting right on the same pew, who have no one to talk to, no one, whom they can trust.
Just how unapostolic does that sound? It’s against everything they taught.
We are to love as He loved; we don’t even know how. Our weak programs and over-stepped authority, has left broken people on every street corner. I must be healed.
What if Jesus meant for someone else to do it; to administer the blood He paid for; to use the power from on high, He said we would be endued with?
He hears the sound of crying sheep; it seems, no one else does.
~ Robert Blackburn