Some years ago, I heard mention of a man who was making a particular comment. He started off, “if I know my heart.” I know that he meant well; however, the truth was, he didn’t.
On our own, none of us know what is really in our heart. We literally cringe, when we hear that verse that says, “the heart is deceitful, and desperately wicked; who, can know it” (Jeremiah 17:9). Strange, that Jeremiah here, saw many in the house of the Lord, in his day, that thought they were doing right; that no one knew any better.
We can quote another line also that says, “from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh”(Luke 6:45). So many, even today, do not feel that this even applies to them. The truth is, many of us say things on the spur of the moment, that we likely should not have said. We just say some dumb and unnecessary things sometimes. We’ll often respond, I didn’t mean that; it just came out the wrong way. And, maybe it did. How do we know that this is not truly their heart? Because, they are quick to apologize and admit they were wrong; they sincerely ask for forgiveness. Quick, to make it right.
Only the Spirit, can truly search our hearts. Often times, we can not even see around our own delusions. We think we are very generous and that we are truly humble; never actually realizing, we do things in order to get things back. I didn’t know that; really. There was a time that I tried to do things for people; afterward, they seemed to shy away from me. It really hurt, that they did not see my goodness and what a caring person I was. But, of course, that’s hind-sight. Why couldn’t they see, that I meant well.
Too often, many of us who say we have been born again, think our heart stays pure thereafter; we stay changed. Only from experience, do we find out, that things can creep back into our spirits, and we didn’t even see it. If we had earnestly stayed on our faces before Him, and asked, yes, asked in sincerity, the Spirit would have shown it to us; even convicted us of it. We might have been taught that this Spirit, had to be continually renewed; but practicing it, was another issue. Dying daily, was only for weak saints.
I don’t think we are truly effective in all of these writings, unless we share a part of our own, real journey. Meaning, I didn’t know I had certain things in my heart; I couldn’t see it. I didn’t want to be that way; so, I assumed that I wasn’t. Only as we look back down the road, do we sometimes realize, that the Spirit was trying to show us something all along; but we didn’t want to see it.
We held on to a lot of things; we never thought we had gotten bitter over something, but we did. Today, every day is a new day to search for the hidden things of the heart. Asking the Spirit, what He sees in me now.
~ Robert Blackburn