Those who say relationships are all moments of bliss and euphoria, aren’t necessarily wrong, they’re just forgetting a lot….. because good relationships have those negative feelings as much as they have positive ones.
Only, the negative ones aren’t always necessarily the “same” negative in the way that you’ve experienced them before.
Okay. Let me explain that a bit!
You feel them in a completely new way.
You feel sad, but it’s a kind of sorrow that comes from a deep yearning.
A yearning that says, “’I’m changing!’ ‘I’m growing and adapting into new ways of living and doing things,’ and at the same time, ‘I’m just not going to keep doing some of those things that now seem to exhaust me!’”
Friends! There’s a time and season for EVERY change in life.
“There is a time for everything. There’s a time for everything that is done and experienced on earth,” Ecclesiastes 3:1.
We “see” differently through every step of growth, and sometimes we “see” the things we do that often (more often than we realize) enables others to not grow, and allows them to continue in their passive aggression.
What’s Passive Aggression?
- It avoids communication in a very negative way.
- It creates insecurity in all parties.
- It creates a bad atmosphere between people and a tension that says, “I’m tolerating your needs and wants, but really want to just not have to care if it matters.”
- It is a form of conflict where either both or one party cannot engage sensibly in the issues without one party using put downs or blame shifting to avoid admitting their unkindness or actions.
- It avoids the real issues.
- It creates negative feelings and resentments in a polarizing way. Freezes out the other party with a cutting “put-out” statement).
This can be exhausting, and underneath it is what creates and causes the root of sadness… which can also cause depression.
Slowly….. you realize that it’s YOU that must change!
You need care, you need Fellowship with even-keeled and kind people who stimulate your joy and growth and your desire to “matter”!
They like your insights and style of communication! As the apt saying goes, “You are celebrated… Not tolerated!”
If this hits a place in your heart and you are afraid to step out and “step in” to a fresh approach of adjusting your current season in life, here are a few scriptures that I like to chew on often when I need to be brave and take risks to “unfurl my sails” and find the fresh breezes of new relationships and opportunities to engage with those who “get me” and even perhaps love me just for me, not what I do! Awesome!!
”Meanwhile, in the moment that we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good,” Romans 8:26-28 The Message paraphrase.
“For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish,” Jeremiah 31:25.
“Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles;they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint,” Isaiah 40:28-31.
“Awesome is God from his sanctuary; the God of His Chosen People, he is the one who gives power and strength to his people. Blessed be God!” Psalm 68:35.
In His Shadow,
~ Mary Lindow ©
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Mary Lindow has a passion for encouraging others – all generations, careers or vocations to live expressing excellence through personal integrity, healthy accountability, and wise management of talents and skills. She’s a sought after keynote, inspirational, humorous speaker and teacher across the U.S.A and internationally in Ministers & Spiritual leaders Conferences, and training seminars for various organizations.